4 Rules

This book mentions that satisfying close relationships require, from both parties, the ability to establish and sustain intimacy, empathy, openness, and mutual as well as responsive communication. A narcissist simply cannot provide these relationship essentials (a relationship with a narcissistic is, in essence, being a relationship with someone who will never listen to you or hear you).

Based on the real terrain of pathological narcissism, the book provides a realistic roadmap of how to navigate this landscape and reclaim your true self, find healing and live an authentic and empowered life, whether you stay or go. It provides you the tools (what to watch for) and guidance on managing difficult situations.

Intrigued, I also saw her 4 "DEEP" Rules to protect the self from toxic behaviour - very empowering: 

(1) Don't Defend (when somebody is saying something you do not do, do not defend it; there is no point because if you do, you start "going down the rabbit's hole", throwing yourself into a bizarre or surreal troubling state)

(2) Don't Engage (pull back and recognize that you will be "walking on egg shells" or be in a precarious situation, extremely cautious with your words or actions and no matter how you say it, you get it wrong), 

(3) Don't Explain (self-explanatory when you consider the above 2 points), and 

(4) Don't Personalize (it is not you but the other party, so stop saying, "It has got to be me" when it is really not; if anything, you are so emphatic, that you are easy to be taken advantage of because the other party knows you are going to keep coming back to them).

The author, Dr Ramani Durvasula, is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, California. She is also a professor of psychology at California State University in Los Angeles. 

What I took away from these, in essence, is to have the courage to walk away from those who continue to hurt you and walk alone until you find the ones who deserve you (if you are brave enough to say "goodbye", life with reward you with a new "hello"). I'll end my post with a wonderful melody by the late George Michael.